SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER  WAS HOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE  SPOT

 

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH  WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
 BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY



HIS CROP OF WHISKERS

NEEDED REAPING
THAT'S WHAT KEPT
HIS LENA LEAPING

 


THE BIG BLUE TUBE'S

JUST LIKE LOUISE
YOU GET A THRILL
FROM EVERY SQUEEZE

 

 

A CHRISTMAS HUG
A BIRTHDAY KISS
AWAITS THE WOMAN
WHO GIVES THE

 

6 MILLION HOUSEWIVES
CAN'T BE WRONG
WHO KEEP THEIR HUSBANDS
RIGHT ALONG IN

 


BRISTLES SCRATCHED

HIS COOKIE'S MAP
THAT'S WHAT MADE POOR
GINGER SNAP


 

 

WE'VE MADE GRANDPA
LOOK SO YOUTHFUL
HIS PENSION BOARD THINKS
HE'S UNTRUTHFUL

 

HENRY THE EIGHTH
SURE HAD TROUBLE
SHORT TERM WIVES
LONG TERM STUBBLE

 


STATISTICS PROVE

NEAR AND FAR
THAT FOLKS WHO
DRIVE LIKE CRAZY  ARE!

 


IF CRUSOE'D KEPT HIS CHIN

MORE TIDY
HE MIGHT HAVE FOUND
A LADY FRIDAY

 


IF ANYTHING WILL PLEASE

YOUR JILL
A LITTLE JACK
FOR THIS JAR WILL

 


TOUGHEST WHISKERS

IN THE TOWN
WE HOLD 'EM UP
YOU MOW 'EM DOWN

 

 

THE BEARDED DEVIL
IS FORCED TO DWELL
IN THE ONLY PLACE
WHERE THEY DON'T SELL

 

THESE SIGNS ARE NOT
FOR LAUGHS ALONE
THE FACE THEY SAVE
MAY BE YOUR OWN

 


THE SAFEST RULE
NO IFS OR BUTS

JUST DRIVE LIKE EVERY
ONE ELSE IS NUTS!


 

 

AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?

 

THE WOLF IS SHAVED
SO NEAT AND TRIM
RED RIDING HOOD
IS CHASING HIM

 


SHE PUT A BULLET

THROUGH HIS HAT
BUT HE'S HAD
CLOSER SHAVES THAN THAT

 


"NO, NO" SHE SAID

TO HER BRISTLY BEAU
"I'D RATHER
EAT THE MISTLETOE"

 


WE CAN'T PROVIDE YOU

WITH A DATE
BUT WE DO SUPPLY
THE BEST DARN BAIT

 


PEDRO WALKED

BACK HOME BY GOLLY
HIS BRISTLY CHIN
WAS HOT-TO-MOLLY

 

CLANCY'S WHISKERS
TICKLE NANCY
NANCY LOWERED THE BOOM
ON CLANCY!

 

HEAVEN'S LATEST
NEOPHYTE
SIGNALLED LEFT
THEN TURNED RIGHT

 


USE THIS CREAM

A DAY OR TWO
THEN DON'T CALL HER -
SHE'LL CALL YOU

 


FREE - FREE
A TRIP TO MARS
FOR 900
EMPTY JARS

 

It GAVE MCDONALD
THAT NEEDED CHARM
HELLO HOLLYWOOD
GOOD-BY FARM

 


BABY YOUR SKIN

KEEP IT FITTER
OR "BABY" WILL GET
ANOTHER SITTER

 

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH  WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
 BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY

 


DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR

 


THE PLACE TO PASS
ON CURVES YOU KNOW
IS ONLY AT
A BEAUTY SHOW

 


CAR IN  DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.

 


A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'

 

TWINKLE, TWINKLE
ONE EYED -CAR
WE ALL WONDER
WHERE YOU ARE

 

 

ALTHO INSURED
REMEMBER, KIDDO
THEY DON'T PAY YOU
THRY PAY YOUR  WINDOW

 

 


HER CHARIOT RACED 80 PER
THEY HAULED AWAY
WHAT HAD 
BEN HER